Marriage is Madness

By Jovanna | Published: September 30, 2016

Wedding

I love writing the love story for the couples I marry! Their individual answers to the many questions I ask them reveal an honest story about how they came together, what they love about one another and why they chose to marry.

When I read their love story during the ceremony, all who are gathered listen with rapt attention and it still surprises me each time laughter erupts and I have to pause until it quiets again. Invariably, there are tears. I know that because I see the tissues coming out during the times of tender telling.

The tone of each wedding is different. My couples use words to describe what they are hoping for such as “happy and open”, “a celebration of family and friends”, “a magical adventure”, “joy and fun” and “humourous and quirky”.

And yet, each of the couples I’ve worked with have made specific requests for their ceremony to be “real”. They know that marriage is not a fairy tale. A marriage is challenging and it must be tended and they want truth of that to come out in their ceremony.

Sometimes that truth comes out in the love story, sometimes in the vows that are chosen and sometimes in the readings. So many people came up to me expressing their appreciation after I read this poem as a blessing near the end of one of my couple’s weddings this summer.

Here it is! Enjoy!

A Blessing for your Journey
Marriage (by Anon)

Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak
It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak
It’s about being wrong when you know you are right
It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight
It’s about you two living as cheaply as one

(you can give us a call if you know how that’s done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it’s all spent
And for you two today it’s about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you’ll discover that marriage is madness.

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Season of Change

By Jovanna | Published: September 23, 2016

flower
Yesterday was the Autumn Equinox. It occurred the moment the Sun crossed the celestial equator – the imaginary line in the sky above the Earth’s equator – from north to south.

On any other day of the year, the Earth’s axis tilts a little away from or towards the Sun. But on the equinox, the Earth’s axis tilts neither away from nor towards the Sun and is perpendicular to the Sun’s rays.

That sounds a lot like magic to me.

And magic is definitely in the air around the time of the equinox. To me the equinox signifies change, a turning away from one way of being and a turning toward another.

The season is turning and so are you.

Close your eyes for a few moments and ask yourself this question, “What am I turning away from this autumn equinox?” Take a breath and let the answer come. Take your time. Let it sink in.

Then ask yourself this question, “ What am I turning toward this autumn equinox?” Again, take your time. There might be more than one thing that comes to you. Take it in.

Are you surprised at what was revealed or was it something that you already had an inkling about? Either way, there is power in asking the question and letting time stop as you await the answer.

There’s no denying it, the seasons are changing and so are you.

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Light Up Your Life

By Jovanna | Published: September 16, 2016

candle
I light a candle each time I begin a session with a client whether we meet in person or on the phone or via skype.

I like to use beeswax tea lights that I purchase at our local market from the people who raise the bees for honey. They smell so good.

The ritual of lighting a candle “warms” the atmosphere of the space where we meet and it brings focus to the time we spend together.

At the end of each session we return our attention to the candle and acknowledge some of the insights we’ve gained and offer gratitude for the time we’ve spent together.

Lighting a candle acknowledges the sacred quality of our work together.

I encourage you to use the ritual of lighting a candle in your everyday life.

Light a candle when you wake up and sit for a few minutes in the quiet.
Light a candle as you drink a cup of tea and read inspiring words.
Light a candle to center yourself before making an important phone call.
Light a candle as you express your inner most feelings in your journal.
Light a candle when you pay your bills in gratitude for all that you have.
Light a candle to find comfort when you’re feeling sad or lonely.
Light a candle when you eat to offer thanks for the nourishing food.
Light a candle in celebration when you’re happy.
Light a candle before you make an important announcement.
Light a candle for guidance during a ‘heart to heart’ with a loved one.
Light a candle to find calm before sleep.

Lighting a candle is a powerful way to light up your life with warmth, beauty, celebration, support, comfort and clarity.

Are you willing to light up your life?

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Guidance is Around You

By Jovanna | Published: September 9, 2016

Shadow

Sometimes you can get so caught up in your mind’s negative chatter that it becomes your truth. But the moment you look up from your discomfort, Love touches your heart with the happiness growing in the faces of sunflowers.

Let yourself be guided.

Sunflowers

You can get stuck in the rut of familiarity. But when you make the bold move to choose a different direction, the Universe meets you with a majestic sunrise.

Let yourself be guided.

Sunrise

As the season turns toward fall you imagine you know what is to come but when you least expect it Nature dazzles you with the tenderness of new growth.

Let yourself be guided.

Plants

And when you’re lost in the complex world of the Internet, Spirit finds you and offers a teaching that gives you the strength to revise your story.

Let yourself be guided.

“She is traveling between worlds right now. You can see her holding the tension of not knowing. She is simply breathing into her unanswered questions. Sometimes she drinks her coffee with quaking hands, not knowing where her relationship or her bank account is going. But this time, she is holding onto the tension of not knowing, and is not willing to hit the panic button. She is unlearning thousands of years of conditioning. She is not being split between the opposing forces of fight and flight. She is neither naïve nor ignorant. She is a frontier woman, paving new roads & making new choices. She is willing to make a new transcendent possibility emerge. You may see her now, standing at thresholds, or at crossroads, breathing into her body and intently listening for inner signals.” ~Sukhvinder Sircar

There is always guidance being offered to you as you move through your everyday life.

Let yourself be guided.

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Endings and Beginnings

By Jovanna | Published: September 2, 2016

Flowers

I love summer more than any other season.

I love the beauty of the flowers, the aroma, the moisture in the air, the freedom of movement, the stars, swimming, fireflies, fresh fruit, bare feet, bare shoulders, swimming, canoeing, camping, morning walks, swimming, lemonade, eating every meal outside, wading in the creek, and on and on.

Of all the places I’ve lived, Southern Ontario has the best summers, hands down.

Because I know that summer doesn’t last long here, my arms are outstretched, poised to take in every bit of summer.

I call Ontario summers “High Summer”. Here, the humidity is sometimes off the charts, the lakes are warm and the cicadas sing out boldly.

I am in heaven during these few months of the year. Summer nourishes me through and through.

There’s always a time in late August when the season begins tipping towards autumn. The night temperature drops, the lake water begins to cool and I put a sweater on when I go out for my morning walk.

For me, this time of year is bittersweet because I know that something I love is coming to an end. It’s beautiful in a way, because knowing that, I’m able to savour summer’s moments all the more.

And so, I begin to gently let go of summer.

And in doing so, I start to open to fall: the crisp air, the nights cool for sleeping and the energy of a new beginning.

Autumn has its own beauty.

Oh, that feels better.

Are you changing with the seasons?

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The Sun

By Jovanna | Published: August 26, 2016

Sunset

I took this photo last week when I was on retreat at the Oregon coast. What a pleasure it was to be in the company of the sand and the salt water.

This week as I prepare to leave on another journey, I offer you this poem, a poem that must be read at least once each and every summer!

The Sun

Have you ever seen anything in your life
more wonderful than the way the sun,
every evening, relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon
and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea, and is gone–

and how it slides again out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower
streaming upward on its heavenly oils,

say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance–
and have you ever felt for anything
such wild love–

do you think there is anywhere, in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure that fills you,
as the sun reaches out,
as it warms you as you stand there,
empty-handed–

or have you too turned from this world–
or have you too gone crazy for power,
for things?

~ Mary Oliver ~

When was the last time you watched the sun rise or set?

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Summertime…

By Jovanna | Published: August 19, 2016

Summertime…

Hanging laundry on the line.
Summer Warmth

The presence of delicate flowers.
Flowers

Canoeing on a quiet lake.
Summer

Sharing a bowl full of cherries.
Cherries

Enjoy the moments.

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A Summer Ceremony

By Jovanna | Published: August 12, 2016

Roses
Celebrating summer seems fitting here in southern Ontario where our two months of summer stand out in welcome contrast to our many months of winter.

That was certainly the case early one evening when a small group of people gathered in a grassy area to express aloud our intention to be present to summer and experience it to the fullest.

As we moved around the circle together, we created a ‘walking poem’ by casting rose petals and calling out words and phrases describing first the sound, then the touch, sight and smell of summer.….”the hum of cicadas, juicy watermelon, glowing fireflies, cool water…”

There was laughter and an occasional “ah…yes” in agreement as our words popped out, some of them overlapping creating a cadence of connection.

The deep listening during our time spent in ceremony served as an anchor and over the next few weeks the memory of it will add wings to our intention.

It was delightful to come together in community for such a simple celebration!

In closing I offer to you this poem by Mary Oliver. Imagine that you are part of our ceremony and you have just knelt down to touch the cooling grass of evening.

‘The Summer Day’ by Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

How are you nourishing yourself this summer? Share your comments on my blog “Creating Space”.

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Swimming Home

By Jovanna | Published: August 5, 2016

Water
Last week as we were paddling toward the island where we were going to camp, I noticed a beautiful spot off the shore that looked perfect for swimming. It was on the calm side of the island and although there were some small lily pads that might be a challenge to swim through, not too far out it looked like the water was clear and deep.

The following morning, I awoke early and made my way to the swimming spot. It was a magical place with a large rock that angled gently down toward the waters edge. I sat down on the rock face that had already been warmed by the morning sun.

I stood up in anticipation and stayed at the edge of the water for the longest time. I wanted to swim but I felt hesitant.

The water felt cool on my feet…would it feel cold once I was in?

I looked at the lily pads that were growing between me and the open water…would I feel uncomfortable swimming through them?

I looked out further into the water…would I run into a shallow area of rock where I hoped it would be deep?

I love to swim but I was hesitant about all of the unknowns. I started stepping forward little by little.

I looked out to the water glistening in the sun. I connected with the place way out in the lake where I was drawn to going. I asked nature for assistance in the form of a clear invitation.

I felt my courage gathering and… I bent over and skimmed through the surface of the water, felt the tickle of the lily pads and moved beyond into the deep toward the glistening sun.

Ahhh…relaxation.
Ahhh…energy.
Ahhh…gratefulness.

There are so many times in life when we know what would calm us, nurture us, inspire us but something gets in our way. We get overwhelmed, exhausted, preoccupied or scared.

The wonders of life are awaiting you. Talk to a friend, work with a mentor or connect with nature to be reminded of who you truly are.

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From the Land

By Jovanna | Published: July 29, 2016

Petals

Tomorrow I’m taking a drive out into the country to meet with one of my wedding couples on the land where their ceremony will be held. This property is important to them. It has supported them during their 10-year relationship and they have bright hopes for their future there.

Knowing this, it’s especially important to me to spend some time on the land to begin to “see” their ceremony. Tomorrow, during our meeting, I will look to the land to inspire certain elements of the ceremony and when I return home, imagining the natural space where the wedding will be held will support me in my writing process.

It is such a pleasure to get to know my wedding couples through our conversations and their written answers to my in depth questionnaire. I feel fortunate to be entrusted with the details of their meeting and the special qualities that they see in one another that have drawn them into committed relationship.

Even at our first meeting I can’t help but begin to compose their love story that will be at the heart of their ceremony.

As a certified Lifecycle Celebrant, composing a couple’s unique love story informs the words and rituals that are chosen. Telling their story infuses their ceremony with deep personal meaning for them and for all who are gathered to witness.

In this way, their wedding ceremony becomes a powerful shared experience for all who are present and creates beautiful memories for years to come.

How nourishing!

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