I made a video for you today. It’s about a dandelion ceremony from my childhood! Enjoy!
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Dandelion Ceremony
Posted in beauty, ceremony, life's simple pleasures, practices, water Leave a comment
The Blessing of the Bride
Imagine a group of women gathering early in the morning. They are laughing and talking as introductions are made. Before long they form a circle on the grass and they sit and await the arrival of someone special.
Soon a woman appears accompanied by another. She is guided to a comfortable chair in the circle, a chair that has been especially prepared for her with white fabric, ribbons and a few roses at her feet.
After she is seated she takes the time to look around the circle noticing dear friends, family members and women newly met. After a welcome and a simple explanation of what’s about to happen, each woman one by one shares words of wisdom and kind thoughts of love. Heads nod in agreement, tissues are passed as tears flow and occasionally laughter gently erupts.
Poems are recited, chimes sound, silence surrounds and the ‘bride to be’ relaxes into the beauty of the moment on the morning of her wedding day. She takes a deep breath and as she feels the love and support of the women in the circle she experiences a sense of readiness. She lets go of the stress of planning. She sheds her anxiety with a few tears and feels a real sense of belonging to something much larger than herself.
The women sing a simple song to the bride and the ceremony draws to a close. Bubbly drink is poured and a toast is offered. As the women slowly leave the circle there is a deep sense of satisfaction knowing that the work of joining two families together has now begun and it’s being supported with a foundation of love.
Posted in beauty, ceremony, family, life's simple pleasures, new awareness, new beginnings, practices, roses Leave a comment
Does Your Home Need to Catch Up with You?
Many of my clients are professional women who are proficient in their work lives. They have spent many years helping others. They are counselors, massage therapists, teachers, artists and they are often mothers who have been focused on raising their children.
Their ability in their professional lives is awesome. They have been changing the world by devoting themselves to their clients and loved ones.
But back at home there’s work to do. Their home has often been the last place to get attention and it is not congruent with the rest of their lives.
The women who come to me are highly motivated to make a change. They are ready to make their home their haven but they often don’t know where to begin. They feel like they should be able to do it on their own. They are confident in so many areas of their lives but they are overwhelmed and stressed when it comes to their homes.
In our sessions together we begin by creating a vision for their space. Having a clear vision helps them move through the confusion, self-doubt, shame and other feelings that come up when they finally pay attention to their home.
I offer weekly practices that help my clients align with their vision. I support them to literally move in new ways as they establish healthy habits and new systems.
Our work is practical.
In our sessions we clear out the clutter and enliven each living space and at the same time my clients experience a shift in perspective toward themselves and their lives. The process of creating and performing personal ceremony is integrated into our work. Personal ceremony provides the clarity and focus to support new intentions and to celebrate the shifts.
Our work is spiritual.
I remember a session where my one of my clients who is working in my ‘Ultimate Sacred Life’ 9 month program took a deep breath and said, “I foolishly thought it would take two sessions to clear this part of my home. I didn’t know that so much confusion would come up. I didn’t know the issues that I would be working through. I have had so many life changing realizations and now I get it. We are changing my home but more importantly we are changing me!”
At this realization she laughed and laughed. For her it was such a liberating feeling to know that something as ‘mundane’ as cleaning house could be her key to awareness and newfound freedom.
Our work is emotional.
Because our work together is a blend of practical, emotional and spiritual profound and sustained shifts occur. My clients embark on a life changing journey and over the course of our time together they find their way to a whole new place, a place that is infused with all the comforts of home.
What are some ways your home needs to catch up with you? Take one small action to make that happen.
Posted in house cleaning, new awareness, practices Leave a comment
Your House Cleans YOU!
When you feel resistance to cleaning your house I want you to know that your home is just waiting for you to engage with it. It is offering you a hand and inviting you to take action. It’s on those days when you are feeling resistance that you have the opportunity to let your house clean you.
To shift from stuck into action choose slow but deliberate movements. Make it small, one motion at a time, no looking forward to the end result, just being with each movement.
Say to your self, “I’m plugging the sink”, “I’m putting the soap in the sink”, “I’m turning on the hot water”. “I’m watching the sink fill”. “ I’m turning off the hot water”, “I’m picking up the glass”, “I’m putting it in the water”, “I’m moving the dish cloth around the glass and cleaning the glass”. “I’m lifting the glass and rinsing it in the stream of warm water”. “I’m placing it in the drainer”. “I’m picking up the plate…”
Move through the dishes one by one.
If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to your movements. Engage yourself for a few minutes in the challenge of moving from resistance into action.
There is beauty in the process. It’s you there. It’s you there in the hands that move, the water that warms. It’s you there, cleaning the dishes. And as you are cleaning you are also being cleaned.
It’s on these days when it’s difficult to get moving but somehow you do, one deliberate action after another, that more important than you cleaning the house is that you are letting the house clean you!
Ceremony is all about YOU!
I so enjoyed the ceremony I led this morning. Picture a group of people wandering through a wild garden on a beautiful spring day offering their dreams into the air in the form of a milkweed seed. The seeds were carried in unpredictable directions offering unexpected insights. Such a delight! I call this photo “After the Ceremony”. Do you notice signs of a celebration?!
I remember when I was a little girl. I was both excited and restricted by the ceremonies I attended. I often had to sit still or stand straight or memorize something that had no meaning to me. I remember when I was confirmed in my Episcopal (Anglican) Church. I got a brand new dress and wore hose for the first time (hose?!). When the minister’s wife came up to me after the ceremony and asked me if I felt ‘changed’ by the experience, I’m sure I very politely smiled and said “yes”, but inside I only felt relief that the whole thing was over.
And yet some parts of ceremony intrigued me. They had me rapt with attention. I loved it when the bishop visited our church. He had a deep resonant voice that filled the sanctuary. He had big, kind hands and when he placed them on my head I felt blessed. I remember the smoke that filled the church when he swung a ‘cage’ of exotic scented incense on a long chain. I was in heaven!
The Girl Scout troop I was part of loved ceremony and my friends and I thrived on the excitement they generated.
In my 20’s I started performing my own ceremony. I instinctively knew just what I needed to do to move through a difficult time or how to express my desire for a particular change. I burned love letters, wrote poems, created simple altars and tended them faithfully until my desire was manifest. I performed personal ceremony as an act of bravery and trust and as a creative expression and a deep seated belief in myself.
There is much more to my story but this part you already know… I grew up with a passion to share the profound experience of creating personal ceremony with you!
I hold the space for your clarity and your clear choice about creating a life that has deep meaning and is filled with delight and abundance.
This week I want you to know that personal ceremony is all about YOU!
It’s all about YOU…you get to choose words and actions that have meaning to you.
It’s all about YOU…you get to decide who you invite to support you in acknowledging the change you are experiencing.
It’s all about YOU…you get to clear away the noise and attend to what really matters to YOU.
It’s all about YOU…there is no right way, there is only YOUR WAY.
It’s all about YOU…you get to choose where, when, why, how, what and whoo hoo!
Let’s celebrate!
Posted in beauty, ceremony, life's simple pleasures, new awareness, new beginnings, practices 2 Comments
Perfection
Last night my partner Scott and I and my son Gabe and his girlfriend Margaret all gathered around our kitchen table to dye Easter eggs. We got out the newspaper to cover the table and gathered some jars and glasses. We read the instructions on the package of dye tablets and poured vinegar into each glass. We ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ as the colours burst into life and one by one we transformed 2 dozen white eggs into fanciful delights.
I love everything about dying eggs; the smell of the vinegar and the sound of the water being poured into the glasses, the vividness of the colours and the surprise of the finished product, the simplicity of the form (the egg), the playfulness, the mess, the beauty and the companionship. The experience for me is perfection year after year.
Perfection year after year, how is that possible?
Simply because I have DECIDED that I love to die eggs and that is the attitude I bring to the table. Because I BELIEVE WITHOUT A DOUBT, that is the experience I create year after year.
What is it that you love to do?
What is it that you can count on always being a positive experience?
Now here’s the gem. Next time you are about to do something that feels mundane inject just a little bit of the attitude you bring to the table when you are doing something you love.
What if you could start infusing your life with something you can count on to be more life affirming? Try it and let me know how it goes!
Posted in beauty, family, lessons, life's simple pleasures, new awareness 2 Comments
Snow and Ceremony
When I was writing this post, the snow was gently falling almost straight down in the tiniest of flakes. The air was still. In March I always pay special attention to the weather. As winter shifts to spring I want to be sure to notice the last snow fall because I know it won’t be happening again for many months. It’s tricky though, because you never know it’s the last snowfall until after it happens. So in March every time it snows I say to myself “this might be the last snowfall of the winter!” I get excited and a little nostalgic as I honour the change of the seasons.
There are always changes that are happening in our lives. Someone moves into a new home, opens a new business, retires or has a special birthday. And although parties are often thrown, have you ever come away wondering why no one took the time to stop all the activity to say a few words to bring everyone together and to acknowledge the significance of the change?
As with the seasons there is no turning back when these life transitions occur. Marking their significance with a ceremony thoughtfully planned or even by simply tucking a few special moments into a party can make a big difference in the person’s life and will also leave a lasting impression on the family and friends who are witnessing their change.
A number of years ago when my youngest son was turning 13, I wanted to mark his birthday in a special way. Gabe was becoming a young man and I didn’t want to let that go by unnoticed. My life was especially busy at that time. I was in the middle of a separation that was leading to divorce and yet I knew that the space needed to be created (in this case against all odds) to bring our family together around our youngest member’s birthday.
It was easy to know who to invite. Gabe has 5 older siblings and each of them had a significant other and of course my son’s father would be there too. I called everyone ahead of time to let them know what I was planning and gave them simple suggestions on how to prepare.
When the day arrived there was excitement in the air as each person arrived. We began our ceremony by pulling our chairs into a circle. Then each of us in turn recalled a significant memory of Gabe during his early childhood. Hearing the stories was a delight for all of us. We shared laughter and we shared tears.
Next we revealed the amazing qualities that Gabe had that would serve him well as he moved into manhood. It was beautiful to witness the care that had gone into choosing and the consideration in presenting a gift that would represent that quality. More laughter and more tears.
To end the ceremony we stood and formed a circle around Gabe. We hoped he would always know that his family loved him and would be there to support him. He looked at each of us and really took in the moment. Then we threw our hands up in the air and made some very loud Whoops! Afterwards we had a toast and shared a delicious meal.
I am so grateful that I followed through on my desire to celebrate my son’s birthday with a ceremony. At the time it wasn’t easy to find the focus and the energy, but it was an important transition and I know that it created a firm foundation for him as he moved forward into manhood.
The last snow can be exciting but only if you observe it as it’s happening. Don’t let this moment melt into another without noticing it. Create space to acknowledge, honour and celebrate the important transitions in your life and in the lives of your loved ones.
Spring Equinox Inspiration
As I write this post in the early morning of the Spring Equinox, the light of a small candle accompanies me. I want to feel centered and focused as I write and I want my words to be infused with the energy of balance. I remember a few years ago when I sat on my back deck at the exact moment of the Spring Equinox. I was hoping that if I became very quiet I would experience something really special as the earth moved through the point that marked equal portions of day and night. I sat and waited in anticipation. I breathed gently in and out. I looked at my watch to be certain I noticed when the moment arrived and when it finally did, nothing happened. I felt nothing out of the ordinary, just a moment of keen awareness, a moment of calm, a moment without distraction, a moment of…balance.
There is really nothing momentous about balance and yet we desire it like an illusive lover. We say things like “there’s not enough balance in my life”. “I want more balance”. “If only there was some balance”. It seems to be the missing piece to our life’s puzzle (the missing peace…). And yet just like I discovered in that moment waiting for the Spring Equinox, balance is within us always. In fact it is right there just waiting for us to notice it.
In my work with women clearing clutter to simplify life and creating personal ceremony to celebrate life we pay special attention to the moments of balance. Our homes are so revealing and they are very good at showing us both balance and imbalance. Most of us have way too much stuff. If it’s not out in the open staring us in the face, we find it hidden in our closets and drawers. Or we hear it yelling out to us when we venture down into our basement or into our garage. And what is it saying? I think the clutter in our homes is inviting us to go to those out of the way places so that we can transform our lives. As the women I work with let go of their clutter in a loving way they discover a sense of balance is awaiting them.
Doing your household chores is a very easy way to notice balance. Notice it when you make your my bed every morning, when you’re done doing the dishes and you rinse out the sink, when you fold your towels and place them neatly in the cupboard and even when you fill your bird feeder. Notice balance outside yourself in what you do and see and then feel it inside yourself as a sense of calm and well being.
What’s wonderful is that by noticing balance we draw it to us. It doesn’t take rearranging or eliminating or prioritizing. If you consciously notice moments of balance you will find balance beginning to permeate your life seemingly without effort.
As I blow out the candle that’s been accompanying me this morning, I thank it for lighting my way. In this moment of gratitude the sense of balance I feel is so delicious. As you read this last sentence take a breath in and a breath out and feel the balance that resides inside you right now.
Posted in beauty, ceremony, equinox, new awareness, practices Leave a comment
Inviting In Balance
‘Inviting In Balance’ was the theme of the workshop I offered last Saturday afternoon. An amazing group of women gathered to learn about creating personal ceremony to bring balance into their lives by aligning with the wisdom of Tree Pose, a simple yoga balancing pose. There is nothing simple about balancing in Tree Pose. At first it’s more of an awkward wobbling pose and it’s easy to fall out. But as you bring awareness to the pose, you start to understand how to invite in a sense of balance. Using your breath as your guide, you learn to rely on focus, strength and even compassion as you practice balancing in tree pose.
I believe that finding balance in your life has to begin with noticing when balance happens. One way to notice is by creating a very simple personal ceremony to invite it in. Each of us participating in my workshop chose an affirmation and actions that were meaningful to create a personal ceremony to invite moments of balance into our lives. My affirmation is very simply, ‘I love this moment of balance”. I’ve been inviting balance in every time I look in the mirror…”I love this moment of balance”, when I get up from my writing practice…“I love this moment of balance”, when I’m finished doing the dishes …“I love this moment of balance” and when I feel irritation …“I love this moment of balance” (This is guaranteed to shift the energy!).
Do you know that whatever you pay attention to grows? This week I am feeling more balanced than I have in a very long time. My personal ceremony is helping me realize that I make my own choices about what I do, and more importantly about how I feel. This simple ceremony is showing me that when I place my attention on balance, the quality of balance arises in my life. A big smile is growing on my face as I realize yet again that “this stuff really works”!
This week I have enjoyed receiving emails from the participants of my workshop with their insights, simple and profound. I will continue to offer ceremony groups to introduce people to the power of personal ceremony because this stuff really works and I am passionate about sharing it.
I want you to have the tools to create balance in your own life.
5 Ways to Find Balance
Balance requires focus. Focus on your goals and focus on this moment.
Balance relies on the breath. Your breath can easily move you from frustrated to free.
Balance relies on compassion for yourself, when you “fall down”.
Balance takes willingness. You must work your way to balance.
Balance must be rooted with intention. Align with Tree Pose and feel deep roots grounding you in your life’s vision.
Balance doesn’t happen miraculously but it feels like a miracle when it happens.
Posted in ceremony, lessons, new awareness, practices, yoga Comments closed
A Better Way
When I clean house with awareness my home becomes my teacher. It always calms me when I’m feeling agitated and inspires me when I am feeling down. There are so many insights that are revealed as I care for my home. Read further to find out how my home showed me a better way!
Today I was doing a little “cleaning therapy”. I was having a wrestling match in my head and I needed some sudsy water to calm the intensity. As I was wiping off the top of my stove I decided it was time to do a more thorough cleaning. You know the “take the burner trays out and wash the stuff that flowed over and underneath” kind of cleaning. I took the elements out and I placed the burner covers in the sink. I rolled my sleeves up and I was snaking my arm through the opening to find the gunk that forms when a pan boils over when I started getting irritated at how hard it was to get to everything. After all, I couldn’t see under there, I could only feel.
I stepped back from the stove to get a bigger picture of the situation and thought loudly to myself, “THERES GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY!”
Then I got into the “if I had designed a __________”, conversation. It went something like this. “If I designed a stove I’d make it possible to lift this panel so I could get more easily underneath to clean”. I moved back toward the stove to lift the panel that in my mind I would design to make it easier and oh, my gosh, IT LIFTED UP! I have been washing this stove for 4 years and today I discovered that the panel lifts up!
Underneath there was clear access to all of the stuff that had drained below. It wasn’t so dirty under there because I had mastered the uncomfortable art of snaking my hand blindly around to clean it. But today FOR THE FIRST TIME I was able to wash the whole entire surface of that under layer unimpeded. I luxuriated in the swooshing of the soapy cloth, back and forth and back and forth. I shined that area like it had never been shined before and as I was shining within myself I had the realization that often THERE IS A BETTER WAY, THERE IS A WAY THAT IS EASIER and all I have to do is imagine it.
All I have to do is REALLY BELIEVE that it’s a possibility and there it will be. The way will open right before my eyes. And once it opens there will be no turning back.
I have often envied the person who has had a life-changing breakthrough. Their story always includes the line “and from that moment on I was never the same”. I’m thinking of Echart Tolle and Byron Katie. Well, you might not think this is a very big moment but this is my moment and I’ll take it.
From this moment on I will never be the same because now I know that all I have to do is imagine and the way will open. And I will let myself be reminded of that each and every time I lift the panel to wash my stove.
I work with my clients to find new ways of being in their homes and in their lives. Is it time for you to imagine another way! You can do it! I just know you can!
Posted in house cleaning, lessons, new awareness, practices Comments closed
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