Marriage is Madness


I love writing the love story for the couples I marry! Their individual answers to the many questions I ask them reveal an honest story about how they came together, what they love about one another and why they chose to marry.

When I read their love story during the ceremony, all who are gathered listen with rapt attention and it still surprises me each time laughter erupts and I have to pause until it quiets again. Invariably, there are tears. I know that because I see the tissues coming out during the times of tender telling.

The tone of each wedding is different. My couples use words to describe what they are hoping for such as “happy and open”, “a celebration of family and friends”, “a magical adventure”, “joy and fun” and “humourous and quirky”.

And yet, each of the couples I’ve worked with have made specific requests for their ceremony to be “real”. They know that marriage is not a fairy tale. A marriage is challenging and it must be tended and they want truth of that to come out in their ceremony.

Sometimes that truth comes out in the love story, sometimes in the vows that are chosen and sometimes in the readings. So many people came up to me expressing their appreciation after I read this poem as a blessing near the end of one of my couple’s weddings this summer.

Here it is! Enjoy!

A Blessing for your Journey
Marriage (by Anon)

Marriage is about giving and taking
And forging and forsaking
Kissing and loving and pushing and shoving
Caring and sharing and screaming and swearing
About being together whatever the weather
About being driven to the end of your tether
About sweetness and kindness
And wisdom and blindness
It’s about being strong when you’re feeling quite weak
It’s about saying nothing when you’re dying to speak
It’s about being wrong when you know you are right
It’s about giving in, before there’s a fight
It’s about you two living as cheaply as one

(you can give us a call if you know how that’s done!)
Never heeding advice that was always well meant
Never counting the cost until it’s all spent
And for you two today it’s about to begin
And for all that the two of you had to put in
Some days filled with joy, and some days with sadness
Too late you’ll discover that marriage is madness.

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