Finding Endearment

When I was young I hated poinsettias. They were everywhere at Christmas and I thought they were gaudy. After Christmas people would hang onto them for months and I would notice them crowded with other plants in the corners of their homes wilting and gathering dust.

I’m not sure when I started to see them in a new light. It might have been when I read somewhere that their red blooms were really leaves. As I looked closely to find the tiny yellow flowers in the middle of the plant my hatred must have started turning into fascination.

Then one year my mother in law brought me a poinsettia for Christmas. She presented it to me with such love that I couldn’t help but to graciously receiving it.

Now I see poinsettias as stunningly beautiful and I have a yearly tradition of visiting our local greenhouse to choose mine from rows of red and white poinsettias that reach as far as the eye can see.

This year my grandson was old enough to choose his own. Pure sweetness!

My change in attitude toward poinsettias reminds me of a practice I have found helpful over the years when I meet someone new and my first impression is negative.

I don’t mean negative in the way your intuition tells you to keep clear of this person.

I mean negative in the way that you can feel yourself judging them unfairly. You have just met them and you really know nothing about them except that they irritate you.

Does this ever happen to you?

If you are like me it can feel like the universe is conspiring against you because then this person always seems to end up sharing your orbit. You sit next to them at a workshop or you serve on the same committee or they show up at an activity where you used to feel lighthearted.

Actually the universe is conspiring for you as it gives you the opportunity to feel the sting of judgment and choose to do something about it. I’ve learned that rather than letting my judgement get the best of me it is better to roll up my sleeves and make it a practice to find something endearing about this person.

When you try this practice you’ll notice how easy it is. You’ll find that it’s as though their endearing qualities are awaiting your observation. Overtime as you choose to focus on those qualities you’ll notice your initial judgment recede.

The practice of ‘finding endearment’ brings this person into a new light and lightens your burden of carrying negative judgment. What a relief!

I love poinsettias now and when I bring one home it becomes part of our family for the holidays.

And after the holidays, you won’t find mine in the corner gathering dust. Before it looses its luster I offer it to my compost and I tell it how much I’ve enjoyed being in the presence of its beauty.

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  1. Rebecca Wood
    Posted December 11, 2015 at 1:46 pm | Permalink

    I always find your letters very positive and absolutely spiritual. Thank you for sharing. Truly, Rebecca

    • Jovanna
      Posted December 11, 2015 at 3:09 pm | Permalink

      Thank you for your sweet note, Rebecca.

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