Mother’s Day Connection

It was such a sweet moment last weekend when my mother-in-law reached out to hold my hand. I lingered in that feeling of love.

The last time I saw her was more than 7 years ago when my marriage ended. I was able to cultivate a newly defined relationship with my ex-husband but his family, who I really enjoyed, got left behind.

My mother-in-law had been a gentle presence in my life when I was mom and step mom to our 4 teenagers and our new baby. She always straightened out my messes, offered me womanly gifts and was an extraordinary nonna (grandmother) to our kids.

In the years since our parting, there were many times I wanted to see her but I never followed through. Navigating relationships after divorce is complex. I often rested on the memory that our last phone call ended in a mutual “I love you”.

But last week when my son mentioned that he wanted to see his nonna before returning to school out east, I suggested that we go together.

On the day of the visit, I stepped into the house and was greeted by familiarity. All the furnishings were just as I remembered them. The only thing that absent was my mother-in-law’s smiling face.

My father-in-law ushered my son and I into her bedroom. She was asleep but he gently roused her. He talked to her in Italian and she answered quietly, eyes closed. I’m not sure if he could understand what she was whispering but they were certainly communicating. He talked to us about the good care she was receiving from the live in caregiver, how well she was eating and how small offerings of chocolate always calmed her.

Last time I saw my mother-in-law she had vitality. And yet, I was prepared for the state she was in because of the many stories I’d heard over the years about her declining health. As I stood there beside her bed, I still recognized her. She still had glow about her, a “love light” emanating.

When she reached out to hold my hand I gladly offered mine. I felt as though she knew I was there and that she was happy to be with me again.

I stayed in her room for a while on my own after my son and his grandfather went to talk in the living room. I silently thanked her for all that she had done for me, for all who she was.

It feels wonderful to have followed through on my desire to visit my mother-in-law. I have a peaceful sense of completion.

Is there a woman in your life that you’ve been meaning to reconnect with?

Find the courage to make the call, write the letter or send some thoughtful words on a card with flowers this Mother’s Day.